What I Want
by Flowerfaires
Summary: 'I want a proper life, I want a family, I want someone to come home to, I want to be loved and love someone in return, but what I want the most is him'


What I Want

Life. It's a funny thing if you think about it. People say make the most of life whilst you have it as you are dead for a very long time. Since I was born my life, my career has been planned. My dad is in the miltary a two star general you can see where this is going. My dad has always had hopes for me to join the miltary and one day travel to space. Well that dream has been accomplished I have been to space. I have been to other planets, I have been to places people can only dream about.

For me though that isn't enough. I thought it was but the truth is it isn't. Not anymore. I want a proper life, I want a family, I want someone to come home to, I want to be loved and love someone in return. The only problem is the man I love can not return the same feelings. I'm sure he feels the same way, okay I am about 85% sure. Why else would he let his eyes linger on my or touch my shoulder much longer than he is supposed to. He may not realise it but I know. I know about the time loop by accident of course Teal'c told Daniel which was a mistake because Daniel is the worst person in the world to keep a secret! And naturally he told me in which a way I was happy about because it confirms that Jack I mean O'Neill no I mean Jack this is my mind and I will call him what I want. Anyway it confirms that Jack has feelings for me but the question is does he still?

I look at him from the cornor of my eye whilst we debrief our last mission together I can tell that something is on his mind. Don't ask why I don't know myself but somehow I just know. After all the years we have spent side by side you can start to read people especially when you are in a team of four who don't just become your friends they become your family. They become the people you must trust if you want to surivie a situation, they are the people who don't judge you, are always there to help you pick up the pieces, they are the people who you can appear weak to and not be judged.

There are three main men in my life who I know I can trust, rely on. I know that they will be there for me at the end of the day. Two I see as my brothers who protect their little sister even if she doesn't need protecting. The third one is different though he is the one I mentioned earlier Jack. I see him as a friend but I would like to see him as something more I would like to be the one he comes home to at night the one he will love and care for. I don't want to be Sam and I don't want him to be Jack I want it to be Sam **and** Jack.

As the debriefing comes to a close I realise that I have been daydreaming the whole time and I have a feeling Jack noticed it as I was just staring at him. I make a run for my lab without drawing to much attention. My lab is my haven I know I am safe there. Ten minutes later I hear footsteps heading towards my lab I would know those footsteps anywhere they belong to the one and only Jack O'Neill!

I feel him approach me after I hear him shut my door. That's odd he doesn't normally shut my door just as I am about to ask why I stop as I turn around I realise just how close we are. I can see his dark deep chocolate brown eyes staring intently at me and I have a feeling my eyes are doing the exact same thing. My eyes drop to his lips, the lips that I have wanted to kiss for who knows how long? I see that he has noticed me staring as a smirk makes it's way across his face all I can just do is stare and wonder what is he doing. Well it's pretty obivious but what is he doing he knows the risks just like me and we are at work anyone could come in knowing my luck it will probably be Daniel for some reason he always interrupts! I feel him edge closer to me so close that his body is pressed up against mine. His hand makes it's way up to my cheek his eyes still staring at me watching my reaction. I realise what he is doing, he is giving me the time to retreat, go back before this becomes something. He doesn't want to pressure me and that makes me love him even more.

What am I doing? Why am I in her lab? And how come I have no control over my body? I am blocking her way, getting close to her so close that if I moved my head just a little bit more my lips would be on hers in a second. I hear her breathing speed up and I know this isn't a mistake it is what we both want. What we have both waited for. With that in mind I look in her eyes once more just to confirm this is what she wants to and then I close the reamining gap between us.

Then it happens his lips are on mine at work where anybody could walk in and rat us out but for once I don't care. All I care about is this moment the moment I have been waiting for. I feel his hand come up behind my head drawing me in more, trying to get closer to me if that is even possible. His other hand wraps around my waist pulling me in more. My right hand pulls on his neck wanting more of him and my left wraps around him as if I never will let go which at this moment I don't t think I could or would. As if we both realise it at the same time we break away from each other just staring with our foreheads against eachothers just as he is about to speak we get interrupted by a knock we jump away immediatly both out of breath.

Sam: 'Come in' I say whilst trying to catch my breath back

And no other than Daniel walks in.

Daniel: 'Hey, there you two are I was just coming to see if you would lilke to join me and Teal'c in the commisionarry?'

Sam: 'Ummm, sure I will be there in a minute'

Jack: 'Yeah I will be there in a minute aswell'

Daniel: 'Ummm, okay...is everything okay?'

Sam: 'Yes everythings fine' I say with a fake smile.

Daniel: 'Ummm, well okay I will see you in a minute then' Walks off and shuts the door.

Once Daniel leaves Jack and I just stare at each other for a sometime.

Jack: 'I...I...errr...Sorry I didn't mean to...'

I cut him off 'What kiss me?'

Jack: 'Yeah that' Looking down somehow finding the floor much more interesting.

Sam: 'Don't worry about it, we can just forget about it, come on Daniel is waiting for us' I make a move to leave whilst Jack's head shoots up at my words and before I know it he has grabbed my hand and turned me around shock appears on my face.

Jack: 'What about if I don't want to forget about it?'

I look at him and see the truth in his eyes I know he doesn't want to leave it like this and he knows I don't want to either. Sam: 'So what do you want to do then? We can't have a realtionship there can't be **us**.'

Jack: 'I don't care about the rules or the regulations, I care about you and I am sick and tired of not having what I want for a change! I want us and I know you do to'

I just looked at him in shock I never known him to be so honest.

Sam: 'So you want us to be court marshelled instead?'

Jack: 'I didn't say that, I was thinking can you keep a secret?' A slight smile making it's way up his face.

Catching on to his plan I say all that I can say 'Yes' a smile starts to spread not just his face now but mine aswell.

And with that he takes my hand kisses me once more before opening the door, letting me leave my room first and heading in the direction of the comissionary whilst feeling at peace at last with happiness spreading through me.

**Please review :) **


End file.
